There are six types of love – they were categorized by John Allen Lee. Love is a multidimensional part of our life – so there is no way one – four letter word could sum up the diversity of love in our lives.
The six categories include: agape, eros, ludus, mania, pragma and storge. You may have heard of a couple of those, but let’s take a closer look at each type.
Agape
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us the scriptural description of agape love: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
Do you describe love as selfless, generous and a sacrifice? These words can be seen as positives or negatives, depending on the person. This is often a love that does not include intimacy or giving and receiving. However, agape lovers will often remain faithful to one another to avoid pain. In a healthy marriage, sex and intimacy are a gift for the partners. People who chose to have agape love in a marriage can suffer by inattention to each other’s physical, mental and emotional needs.
Eros
Eros is often described as “love at first site” and “being struck by cupid’s arrow”. There are many schools of thought about how lasting eros love can be. Eros lovers are very passionate, have sensual desires and they enjoy touching. This type of love leads to that “honeymoon” feeling and some people claim to be “twitterpated”.
This is the type of love where people can be drawn together because of a physical attraction. Over time this can cool and they “fall out of love” with each other. In some cases, a deeper and long lasting love can develop. In the beginning of a relationship, people often put their best foot forward. But as they get to know each other better, they may or may not “fall” deeper in love with one another on a deeper level. This high intensity love can be very short lived if both people are not willing to work to maintain it.
Ludus
Ludus is a playful and flirtatious love. People who enjoy the chase phase of a relationship may experience this type of love. They enjoy chasing, playing the game and the conquest of a new person. However, once they catch this person, the relationship i often over.
Many people like a loving relationship for the security and commitment – that is not an appeal in ludus love. It is not uncommon for ludus love to move on to a new potential conquest before the previous relationship has ended. This is the lover who likes to make notches on their bedpost to keep count of their conquests – it is quantity of “love” over quality. They may also see love as a trap and view the ability to reproduce to be a sign of masculinity.
Mania
Mania is a destructive love that is extreme, wild and can be dangerous. This love has many highs and lows . The person can go from intense attraction and great intensity and then neediness, jealousy and obsession.
A maniac lover has an unreasonable fear of losing their partner and need to be reassured all the time. Even reassurance often are not enough to lessen the intense nature of their manic love. This person will stalk, smother, work very hard to possess and control their partner. A manic lover often has low self esteem and that manifests itself in the way they treat their partner.
Manic lovers may view marriage or a long term relationship as a means of ownership. Children may be seen as a competition for other’s attention or children may be used as a substitute for their lover. Sex can be used as a way to gain reassurance of their partner’s love. It is not uncommon for a manic love to lead to an addictive and/or codependent relationship.
Pragma
Pragma is a practical love that may fill a need the way a business arrangement would. Each partner brings something to the relationship that the other needs and has a value to each other, such as – money, stability, a home, a parent for a child, etc. This love is convenient for each partner and their compatibility can have nothing to do with intimacy or sex. Although it is convenient, these relationships are not always successful.
This love is very rational and they often have real expectations about their partner. These partners may work harder to avoid infidelity because they want to avoid the consequences of their action. This prompts them to weigh the cost and reward of the relationship – often without the usual emotional persuasion. Sex may be considered to be a reward between the partners or only as a means to have children. Depending on the person, marriage and children can seem like assets or liabilities.
Storge
How many times have we read or watched the story of a person debating whether they should have a relationship with a best friend or a passionate lover? Storge love is the answer to this question. Storge gives you the best of both world. You friend and lover are the same person. This love begins as a friendship and over time a deeper love and intimacy develop between the two people.
The friendship and this closeness is a primary attraction to the relationship. There can be passion – but the passion and sex in the relationship is often secondary to the intimacy they enjoy. They can spend very satisfying intimate time together and be satisfied even if it does not lead to sexual intimacy. This does not mean that sex is not a part of the relationship, but the other elements of their love are often more important to their happiness. These people have peace, security and stability in their love that other people may never know. Even if the romantic elements of the relationship lessen over time, they maintain the valued friendship.
Excerpt from Love Certification Course by Dr Ava Cadell
These are types of lovers who make, good matches, possible matches, difficult matches and dangerous matches.
Good Match
Eros + Eros
Storge + Storge
Pragma + Pragma
Possible Match
Storge + Eros
Agape + Eros
Ludus + Ludus
Storge + Pragma
Storge + Agape
Mania + Mania
Difficult Match
Eros + Ludus
Eros + Manic
Pragma + Ludus
Agape + Ludus
Mania + Storge
Agape + Mania
Pragma + Agape
Agape + Agape
Dangerous Match
Pragma + Eros
Ludus + Storge
Ludus + Mania
Mania + Pragma
Love Certification Course From Loveology University
This Course Is For You If:
Welcome to Loveology University’s Love Certification Course. Who else offers a certification on a course as valuable as love? In this course you’ll learn about the history of love, the different kinds of love and how to get the love you need. From self-love, romantic love to passionate love, this course offers groundbreaking techniques to make your life a loving one. You’ll learn about the 5 essential ingredients to finding love, 12 keys to keeping love, how to love a woman verses how to love a man and some fascinating statistics on love around the world. So if you want more love in your life, start by becoming certified in LU’s course on love. |
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http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/ShortCourseDetails.aspx?CourseID=31&a_aid=litekepr
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